sorry for all the typos and misplaced commas in that post. i think they help drive home the point.

HELP!!!

Sorry I didn't get to see you ladies (Rachel and Megan)!!! I love you, but this week/ weekend has been rough. I think that I am going to jump off my balcony pretty soon or throw my dad off. He sucks so bad. You don't need the details. Just trust me. If he wasn't paying my tuition I'd have no use for the man at all.

My brother it turns out has diabetes now and has to give himself like 4 injections a day, plus eat 3 meals and no sugar or fried foods at all. This is a big deal since he normally skips breakfast and lunch and then has fast food or something equally terrible for dinner. So I've been kind of making sure my mom doesn't kill my dad and making sure my 29 year old brother doesn't accidentally kill himself by being the careless idiot that he is.

These are not harsh words. My dad really is an ASS and my brother really is RETARDED! I hate these people! My poor mother lives here all year round. I gotta get her out which may mean, moving into an apartment with her post graduation which is not something I really want to so. grrrrrr!!!!

I'll tell you guys all about work once start it. I still have another week of training before then.
I wouldn't bore you with those details.

I'm probably going to spend next weekend in Boston with Steve. I need to restore my faith in men, unless one of you has a more appealinf 4th of July plan. Love you all!!! Peace.

And yeah this Michael Jackson shit is crazy. He lived 50 exciting, but miserable and misunderstood years. I'm glad he gave us good music and great dancing and glad he's finally at peace and can't molest anymore children or get any whiter.

sorry i missed last week. i just forgot again. maybe i should set an alarm. so i returned yesterday from a week in boston/ rhode island with steve. i had the time of my life! we just did normal things like walk around the city, eat at restaurants, go to bars, play pool with cumberland townies, kareoke, movies, window shopping, going for "runs" and bike rides around his town, walk on the beach (it was way too cold to swim). rhode island is so green and hilly and new englandy, like amherst, but minus all the smart people. everyone there is so regular, simple compared to amherst people and new york people and florida people. that's the way they seem anyway. i don't know. whatever. anyway, it was so great to be with steve, but not at amherst. i feel bad that he always gets the stressed out, depressed, angry version of me, the amherst becky who's on the edge all the time. the same one you guys often get. that's not the real me, and it was so nice to be with him in a carefree environment, no school, no work. it felt like a honeymoon. i cried when i had to get back on the megabus home.

so now i am here in beautiful queens, ny. last night i went bowling with my friend mary from highschool (little asian who visited amherst that time) and my friend kristina from middle school.
it was in this big bowling alley/ pool hall/ arcade/ bar/ restaurant. it was like a carnival or something. a lot of fun.

i spent today cleaning and cooking and babysitting my niece. back to my housewife life. but starting monday, i will be a career woman! two weeks of training before my job really starts.
then 8 weeks of being basically a day camp counseler to the kids of incarcerated parents. should be interesting and rewarding and shit. plus i need money!!! i am considering singing in the subway because i wont get my first check for another 3 weeks. it's that or selling my body in the subway. i'll let you know what i decide.

oh also, my hair is growing fast. i should have a sizeable afro by the end of the summer, which is nice because i am really tired of looking super butch everytime i don't have a sundress on and giant hoop earrings. i really miss hair. it sucks to walk around on a windy day and have nothing happen. you know what i mean julian. doesn't it suck? but i am really happy it's natural now. i feel really good about that part.


hmm...what else? yeah. so this summer is gonna be working, getting fit, forcing myself to play guitar enough to actually get good at it, yoga yoga, yoga, meditate, read new age spitiruality shit, wish you all were here with me, repeat. that and the occasional trip to boston and maybe amherst to see carmsy, rachel and co. and maybe dan up in maine. it all depends on money. i hate how much money matters. oh well. LOVE YOU!!! tell me more about you!

Oh and I miss you guys so much!!!! Duh! Love you! Bye.

This is for Carmella who didn't think I could figure out the whole blog thing on my own. In your face! Sorry I didn't post on Saturday. I totally forgot about this thing. Since running off of the plane I have spent a week with my sisters in Florida, mostly watching the View, Tyra, Oprah and various other useless girly shows, and playing with my nephew. Eventually, I took the train a good 30 hours to Amherst, where I saw Carmella and Steve for all five minutes, packed up my room and drove home with the odd couple. I am currently bored at home, reading, going out for wogs, doing yoga, playing housewife while my parents are at work, so I don't have to feel so bad when I need to ask for money, watching TV and waiting for my job to start on the 18th. I am broke and I live in NYC so going out and having fun is hard. Plus my friends here are all real grown ups with real jobs who are busy and tired and shit. Losers! I miss my unemployed hippies! Yup the present is pretty glum, but I am hopeful for the future. Occasionally, I get to chill with my niece and pretend to be 9, which is fun. Plus Chase gave me this Starbucks gift card that his grandma gave him, so, I can at least meet people for coffee. That plus my mother's constant comedic antics and my father's...I don't even know what to call that shit should keep me entertained until Friday when I go to Boston to chill with my boy until next Wednesday. Then work work work!!!