ay! nobody has posted in a while

i just sent this to dan... i just spent the whole evening writing down a lot of thoughts and this was the most coherent result...

dearest(s)

this has been such a trying week.

there was another fight in my school today. two fights in one week. there were two fights in all of last year..

it's connected to the outside (outside the stone walls of our scholarly edifice). this weekend there was a 'massacre' in mattapan and then a murder in revere - and students at my school have connections to both. homicides this year in boston are three times what they were last year. the murders are related to gangs and drugs and drugs and probably poverty. i don't know how to decipher this mess of race and poverty and drugs and violence. i've been reading about mexico and drug violence there recently but now i'm turning my attention to drug violence in the states, which i know something about but not enough to satisfy my need to fill in the blank spaces of these students lives which happen when they go home. . .

the fights at my school were (apparently - i'm not privy to all the details) also about drugs w an arab student george m. who's probably a drug dealer and certainly an instigator plop in the center of it all ... hopefully reaching its climax this morning with kai h. (young black man) punching george repeatedly to his painful taunts of "hit me harder nig***" i can't write about it without crying

my heart tonight is with kai, or at least the idea of him. we met yesterday but i'd been hearing about him for a while. he's loved at pca, where the more troubled you are, the more adored you are by the staff. i can't get the image out of my head of noreen yarwood an experienced teacher and administrator who i watched as she became aware of the situation and moved to end the altercation and the way she said his name "kai" not with anger but with pain and concern and so much valentia, all in a matter of seconds kai was off of george and walking out of the room (and out of the school) blowing off verbal steam and punching the fist of one hand into the palm of the other ...

pca is sixty-five percent latino (though that's misleading because latino and white and black blend) and fifteen percent african-american, which is really very few black students at the small school ... even fewer men because pca is disproportionately female, the black men at our school stand out, and next week there will be three fewer black men than the weeks before... there are only so many left and from the looks i've seen on their faces today i think they're conscious of that

the racial consciousness the racialized existence of my students has been entering my scope of vision this week more than before . these physical confrontations and my new assignment to "park duty" .. park duty is at once hilarious (picture me awkwardly moving between groups of students who don't particularly want me there, or maybe they do want me there, or maybe they just don't mind me, hearing conversations that i don't care to hear, but.. er, it's my job. fortunately i've learned to revel in awkward situations - so i'm perfect for this position i guess) . but park duty is also maybe serious born in part from the racist attitudes of local business owners who require the school to be responsible for our students during their lunch hour. and there i've seen just that , students reacting constantly to the battery of racism in this whiter slice of chelsea . it's not pretty

admittedly i'm very much on the outside looking in .. refining my sensibilities to this stuff . i can't help search out the causes the secrets behind the daily interactions in my school building. there are a few known "trouble-makers" at pca. one is a young woman named asuasha, who strides down the hallway swinging her braided beaded locks with an addictive smile. she likes to talk in class and doesn't often follow directions and that gets her demerits and detentions. this week she told jemiah - the only black member of the staff - that she doesn't listen to our dean of students straight up because he's a white man. and now i want to know how every student understands their relationships w staff there are two other young women who often get sent to the ssc (stands for "student support center") because they disrupt their classes - both black - both connected to the young men who fell into physical confrontations ... and there's no judgment here. just connections. their behavior in school can't be taken in isolation from everything else in their lives... being black at a school run by white people with connections to violence in a city run by white people . do i think that things would be different if the staff was black ? i think that things would be different if the staff wasn't ninety-plus percent white.... (but i think i know why it might be difficult to find highly qualified brown people to work for such meager salaries ? and isn't that what phoenix is trying to address ? ) and at the same time, the more i read into these racialized interactions, color begins to seem both deeply significant and deeply trivial ... because so much that is meaningful and positive happens daily between people with different skin tones at this school .

o there's so much more i could write. i'm making sense of this place, beginning to understand the school as i hoped i would, as an ORGANIZM, a community... beginning to appreciate the solidarity of my position living in their neighborhood, earning pennies, i even read it in my job description, tutor, one on one, each day five students each get a full hour of my teaching energy and knowledge. third period it's just me and junielle a migrant to boston from puerto rico, and she looks me in the eye and pokes and prods me and sucks me in and bends and molds me too. and it's really good


sorry to write your mind off

love rachel

money grows on trees!

(always trust magic)

today in lab

school school school. can't wait to see more of you pretties..

destry has inspired me to post this youtube gem

What does this mean? It's so bright.

For Rachel and Carmella, who haven't seen this yet:

late summer ramblings

Hi ya'll,

well here we are, summer is (finally) winding down... I feel like a real islander because I can breath a huge sigh of relief along with the rest of the Vineyarders that September is finally here and the tourists are finally gone - and with them, their children. thank you baby jesus. hahah. Today was the last day of camp, and fittingly, it was half canceled on account of a giant hurricane heading our way, fierce Mr. Earl. Some kids still showed up, and we ran around making some last minute preparations to get the animals to safety, the structures secure. And then, we all sat down to a lovely feast, prepared by the children throughout the week using all delicious farm-fresh ingredients. My kids had fried green tomatoes, salsa, and tomato sauce to offer. Notice a theme? Speaking of which, I have a big bubbling pot of tomato sauce on the stove right now. I'm going to try my hand at canning! I'm a little afraid of botulism, but... I'll definitely try my best not to poison myself (and others).

This summer has been so much of what I wanted and needed, and a little bit of what I didn't want or need (lots of child-related stress...). Oh well, next summer I'll know not to become a weekend nanny while I'm working full-time as a farm-based educator. But, I have been able to pick up some pretty nifty skills, mostly involving food. I just made some delicious corn tortillas (such a wholly satisfying experience..) and I've been quite the bread-maker/baker all summer long. Now I'm moving on to sauces, canning, and other methods of food preserving. Also, I'm really excited that I've grown rather comfortable around some pretty large (and some not large) animals that I would have once been scared to be near. For example: oxen, and cattle in general (and I now know the distinction between oxen, heifers, and bulls! plus, I've learned the commands for guiding an ox, but definitely haven't mastered the art of working with oxen just yet..). I'm still working up the courage to get near our ducks (nasty creatures, those buggers ) but I am beyond infatuated with our goats. Also, piggies are the shit. Sheep are alright too, I guess.

I'm staying on at the farm as a garden apprentice for the month of September, and then I will begin my wanderings. First, a good solid month of New England visits (Amherst, Boston, NYC, New Haven), and then, middle America! I plan on training it out to Minneapolis first, maybe with a pit stop in Chicago, and then moving on to South Dakota, before heading south to Tennessee/Alabama/Louisiana/Texas and then finally, home to South Florida for the Christmas holidays. I am contemplating volunteering at a mega yoga retreat center in the middle of the Berkshires for the months of January through April 2011, but nothing is certain.

Hopefully this storm will pass through the night so I can make it off the island in the morning and make my way to Beantown for sweet Rachey's birthday bash (complete with Stevey G's rapping skillz, we hope). I hope you all are well, and I await our weekend getaway with much anticipation. Nobody beats my Chapman loves, I'm learning.

here's a little taste of summer from my kitchen to yours..




and some shots of the scene on the beach before the storm --











with love, carmella

Delinquent

Hi All,

Forgive my WEEKS and WEEKS of not posting. I just read all that I missed and I am so thrilled to know what you're all doing... What I've been up to:

1. Some of you know, but I was in the Bay Area in California for a weekend in mid-June for my hippy quaker school preschool, elementary school, middle school reunion! It wasn't official, but we decided we wanted one, so we went camping at Memorial Park (where we went every year at Peninsula School) and had a lovely weekend of sitting around the fire, talking about the last 10 years, going on walks, playing in the creek, etc. We then ate fish tacos at Pescadero (beach with beautiful cliffs and dramatic fog) after checking out of our campsite.

2. I finished my first year of nursing school in late July! I loved my last rotation, Community Health -- found it really rewarding to see patients in their homes. I liked how it flipped, well flipped is too strong, disrupted the typical power dynamics inherent to much of medicine. We were invited into patient's homes to provide care -- working with the specifities of THEIR turn and THEIR lifestyles to appropriately treat patients etc. Fun fun.

3. I moved to a new apartment and I love it! Closer to some of my favorite places in New Haven, I am all by myself in the one bedroom, I have a little backyard... and free internet! Yale School of Art is near.

4. Spend NINE fabulous days in Holland with Milo, Malu, Dick, Janice and Oma (grandma) at Oma's house. TONS of biking (upon leaving Holland I swore I would move there) -- including two separate 5 hour long bike rides led by Oma -- she's amazing, approaching 80, but full of spunk, history and an incredible knowledge of her region of Holland. Ate tons of Dutch cheese and fries... walked around, smoked weed... Milo informed his parents ahead of time, dad was WAY excited, pointed out a coffeeshop in Amsterdam, yelled down the stairs "don't forget the papers!", we were planning on a pipe -- neither one of us can roll, Dick responded, "I'll roll them for you!" Which he did, and he taught me how. Milo and I both fail as youth. On the last day biked to Utrecht (lovely student city) and back from Oma's house -- thirty miles in all! ...

5. I GOT A PUPPY!!! I've been thinking about it for a while, and I've had him since Monday! He's 12 week old toy poodle, currently 3.3 lbs, will be 7 or 8, and I took him for his first vet visit yesterday. He's still getting used to things... but we are getting along well! I kind of feel like a proud parent... I've been talking about him to people too much... but, I will bring him to the cabin in September. (Rach, I'll call you. Do we think he's allowed???). He doesn't have a name yet -- in the running right now: Truffle (Truff), Buffalo (Buff, Boo), Theodore (Theo, Teddy)... Any thoughts, suggestions?


6. I start school next week! I have finally decided that I AM looking forward to it. Sort of. I don't know. A small piece of me is dreading it a little bit -- I hear this semester's a killer. But whatever, it's what I want, and so much of it is womany!

Love you all,
Megan

Maine in August, no more needs to be said

Helloooo my fabulous people! I miss you! Here are some things that are happening with me:

1. I got back from the US Social Forum in Detroit at the end of June. It was life-changing! I have so many new ideas about what I want to be doing with my life. These might very well involve me moving to Arizona. Immigration reform, that's scary shit! Gotta fight it! Go to the frontlines! Yeah!

2. My work is dumb. My bosses are jerking me around. It is partially because they know I work hard, partially because I'm young, partially because I'm female, partially because they think they can walk all over me. But they can't! I feel taken advantage of and taken for granted, and I am sick of feeling that way. So... I am asking them to make me the Interim Director of the organization. I am already doing the work of Director, just don't have the title yet. I think they will give me the title (and hopefully more monies), in which case I will feel all-powerful and mighty. (Hah, just kidding. Sort of.) If they say no, goodbye Holyoke.

3. As you all have probably heard by now, I am a single lady. Break-ups are excruciating, and this one was no exception. But, it has been a month, and I am feeling good about the decision. There is no going back. Also, being single is awesome. I highly recommend it.

4. Basically what it comes down to is that I am going through my own mini-feminist revolution. I have been reading a lot of Audre Lorde and Bell Hooks. You all should check them out if you feel like experiencing your own feminist upheaval. It's the greatest.

5. I am in Maine for two weeks!! TWO weeks!! Amazing! Talk about soul-healing. This is pretty much what I'm doing, all the time, over and over. Come visit! There have been bike rides, boat trips, lobster fests, beach visits, mountain hikes. I have even been on a ferris wheel. So good.

I am so excited to see so many of you in September! It's going to be the best.

blind leading the blind

note to self: after you pass a sobriety test on the side of the road at 2 in the morning (cause small town cops have nothing else to do), please don't text selena as you walk up your dark, dark driveway. you just might have a head-on collision with a tree and walk away with a black eye and a scratched up chin. just saying.

for more blind leading the blind stories, go HERE!

hope all are well! photos to come soon!

ps OBAMA'S HERE!

think before you shove things in there

today i was an idiot and put a minicd into my macbookpro. i spent about 10 mintues fishing it out with a credit card with a piece of tape on it. finally got it. new album up on facebook. love, rose

Also I just found this video. Looks like sex and tennis are obviously related to everyone...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFQs7Jcaazw&feature=related