Home again, after more coming and going

I've spent the past four days on my dad's boat with my siblings, cruising down the coast of Maine. I love Maine! (which you all know, of course.) It was so beautiful -- dark dark blue ocean, lighter blue skies, little puffs of white clouds and, best of all, the stony, craggy, piney islands that dot the coves. There is no place like Western Mass., and there is no place like Maine's northern coast ("Downeast" as the lobstermen would call it). It was glorious to have a series of sun-drenched, boat-rocked, book-filled, ocean-loved hours, aside from the occasional awkward moment -- when we stopped on my dad's ex-girlfriend's island to enjoy a cozy lobster bake together, for example.

After four days of non-stop family-time -- with the full group of Sibley siblings together -- I've been doing a lot of thinking about the odd nature of family. On the one hand, my siblings and I are in a neatly unique position -- we're all old enough to be considered legal adults and, more importantly, mature enough to engage each other without squabbling over the front seat or pulling out each other's hair (literally). We can treat each other like friends, not just siblings. No longer children, we're also pre-children, and can enjoy each other's company without the preoccupation of our own kids. Hopefully our childlessness will last, but my sister started asking me about wedding dresses this week, so who knows how long we'll be so free -- perhaps only a few years more. On the other hand, as siblings, we're all wrapped up in our own independent lives. That is to say, none of us spend much time checking in with each other when we're not together -- a fact that, for better or worse, makes us more like siblings than friends. I don't think my siblings (particularly my older brother and sister, less so of my younger brother) know me particularly well as a person. I will always be their younger sister, and thus relegated to a certain status, a certain box, a certain personality -- perhaps a caricature of myself. (I think this is also true of my relationship with my dad, but not my mom.) I am certain that you all know me, as a real person, far better than my siblings, making you closer in some ways. And I do think of you -- accurately -- as my Chapman family (or tribe, which I like). At the same time, my siblings will always be uniquely positioned in their closeness to me -- because of shared DNA and personal histories. So that's it I suppose: No choice but to confront the strange estranged closeness of sibling relationships, on a boat in Maine. All that notwithstanding, it was great to see them.